Disarmed and Disengaged

I‘d like to open the floodgates
to shed tears like stair rods
and surrender the inadequacies
that hold me hostage in my own skin
line them up in front of death squads
order release of the firing pin

And if I closed the distance
stood my ground on this battlefield
disarmed and disengaged myself
of the carnage witnessed within
would my enemies be revealed
could the victory be a win?